(Repeating what I wrote last week) Social media has become a battleground for polarizing ideas, an open space for the airing of grievances, and a virtual protest. Last week I had A LOT to say about the misinformation, anger, disrespect, and fighting that is occurring online. At the heart of what I wrote is my belief that while we are still living through a pandemic —
It is irresponsible to do nothing.
I stand by the following three calls to action —
We all need to get vaccinated
Masks should be worn indoors until case counts, hospitalizations, and deaths decrease (and those numbers remain low)
We all accept that change is the only constant.
BUT —
I also want to pause and recognize (for my own benefit as much as yours) that navigating the pandemic has been exhausting. (Though we may want to) We cannot simply throw our hands into the air and say screw it. We cannot accept 2000+ vaccine-preventable deaths per day (in the US alone).
As the death toll in the United States crossed the 900,000 mark yesterday, Dr. Francis Collins1 (recently retired head of NIH) said —
“When you look, as I do, every morning at the reports of what happened in the preceding 24 hours, and you see another 2,000 people have lost their lives – that ought to be just unbelievably unacceptable. And yet, it’s OK. This is like six or seven planes going down every day with barely much in the way of notice. This is no time for us to be relaxing on the careful attention to things that can reduce the spread.
Every death from COVID is a tragedy. There may be political fights over masks or vaccines, or a raft of incorrect information on social media that contributes to a kind of uncertainty about what to do. People, too, may not want to think about the collective loss. But that doesn’t change the fact that people are dying every day.”
Our work to slow the spread of disease and to decrease the number of hospitalizations and deaths cannot stop. #wearepublichealth
However — in an effort to reduce our exhaustion, stress, fears, and frustrations caused/exasperated by the pandemic, we need to embrace the fact that making the decision NOT to do something is actually doing something. And creating and committing to a pandemic NOT to-do list is important.
One of the most important (if not THE most important) lesson I have learned is the truth that —
You have to say “NO” in order for your “YES” to mean something.
During my first years as a professor, I said YES! to everything. I wanted to work with all of the students, be part of all of the research, teach all of the classes, volunteer on all of the committees, and get all of the grant money. I said YES! to every opportunity that came my way. Every.Single.One.
I said YES! so many times to so many people, projects, and (potential) things that I actually became a watered-down version of myself. The number of things I was doing was off the charts, but the quality of my work was average. And I was so overworked and overstressed that I became really sick. In the fall of 2014, I was diagnosed with pneumonia, bronchitis, and double ear infections. I was forced to stop all of the things — and stay home. It was then that I began to understand the meaning of the quote, “You have to say “NO” in order for your “YES” to mean something.”
It started with me understanding that I needed to say NO to work in order to say YES! to extra sleep, breathing treatments, doctor’s visits, and lots of fluids. But my understanding of the importance of saying NO has evolved, and
I am now committed to taking action by committing to NOT doing things.
I invite you to join me in taking action by NOT doing things in order to be healthy and create healthy communities. Here is my NOT to-do list.
I am committed to NOT:
Worrying endlessly.
I rely on just a few sources of news/information. I stay informed, but I am trying not to worry. My family is fully vaccinated. If/when we contract COVID, we will be protected. Vaccines work. I can also use masking, virtual get-togethers, and distancing to protect those in my community who are immune-compromised or not yet vaccinated.Gossiping and making fun of those who have stopped caring about COVID.
While I want to scream and make fun of people who are ignoring the recommendations of clinicians and public health officials to get vaccinated, I will not do it. No good comes from gossiping or making fun of others — not ever.Trying to solve the world’s wicked problems on my own.
While I believe I have a part to play in the pandemic response and in rebuilding the public health system, I cannot do this work solo. And I cannot expect quick fixes to these wicked problems. So I am done going at it alone. (More on saying YES! to collaborations in a future post.)Engaging in conversations/arguments on social media with individuals who are spreading misinformation. Social media is not a space for truly connecting with and listening to one another. It is too easy to be misinterpreted or be (uncharacteristically) mean. I will no longer engage.
Following people on social media who only repost information and fail to share anything that this original or about themselves. Seriously, I have stopped following people who only repost and share things in (what I assume is) an attempt to win a virtual popularity contest. I want to hear personal updates and original thoughts from people I connect with on social media. If the majority of an individual’s posts are not authentic or original, I unfollow them.
Hanging out with people — virtually or in-person — who do not inspire or encourage me. My circle of friends may be small, but these people love and support me. They build me up. Quality over quantity.
Assuming there is an absolute right or an absolute wrong when it comes to our understanding of the virus, mitigation strategies, and public health policies. There aren't very many unnuanced moments during a pandemic. I am not expecting perfection. I want to be doing the next right thing. One step after another.
Craving that things return to “normal.”
This pandemic has changed us all. Returning to normal/what things were like in January 2020 is not the answer. We need more kindness, justice, and humility (among other things) in our post-COVID world. Returning to an old status-quo is not the answer; it means we haven’t learned a thing from the past two years. And that is unacceptable.Feeling guilty for stepping away (even from my most important work). Time to rest, relax, and reconnect is just as important as the work. I have no guilt for stopping to get outside, go to yoga, read with my kids, or watch TV. No guilt for taking time to recharge.
Being on social media throughout the day.
I limit my time on social media every day. I block out a specific chunk of time to check my various accounts, but otherwise, I close those windows on my computer and put down my phone. There are more important things to do with my time than scrolling mindlessly or (worse) scrolling and getting upset by the ignorance or ill-will of others.Trying to change the behaviors of others.
I can control myself and my decisions and behaviors. I can work to educate others, but my motivation needs to be internal (I want to be a great educator and I want to create amazing public health programming and research). I cannot center my work around changing others. I cannot control others.Being paralyzed by a fear of failure.
Abby Wambach (one of the best soccer players ever) said it best (in her best selling book) —
“Failure is not something to be ashamed of—nor is it proof of unworthiness. Failure is something to be powered by. When we live afraid to fail, we don’t take risks. We don’t bring our entire selves to the table—so we end up failing before we even begin. Let’s stop worrying: What if I fail? Instead, let’s promise ourselves: When I fail, I’ll stick around.”
I invite you to join me in committing to this NOT to-do list. Or you can create your own. My NOT to-do list is front and center on my e-bulletin board (google keep). I have found that seeing this list every day alongside my to-do lists has been so important. I know that my inaction/commitment to not doing these things is helping me to prioritize the important work I am called to do, AND it is allowing me to improve my own health and the health of those around me.
Commit to NOT doing something(s) as a radical act to improve your own health and the health of those around you.
What’s on your NOT to-do list?
Dr. Collins is also the author of the book The Language of God, which I cannot recommend highly enough to anyone who wrestles with being tensions surrounding faith vs. science.
Good points. I also must limit my time on Facebook, but somedays it is hard to do. Also, I need to try and stop being the covid mask police and FYI -Abby Wambach is a shirttail cousin of mine. Her book was great.PS: I really enjoy your weekly program and can't wait for the class.